One of the most meaningful moments that takes place each year at the Connecticut Catholic Men’s Conference is when I take time out during the day to receive healing in the sacrament of Confession. It is a time when I face the depths of my own fallen nature and lay it all before heaven’s throne. It is an experience that is at the same time uncomfortable and yet comforting, as the stress of bearing my soul to another man gives way to an encounter with Christ that restores my heart. As I share in the healing power of heaven I am freed once more to take up my cross and fight the good fight of faith.
I am moved every year to see so many of my brothers in the faith join that long line of men who are unashamed to sit with the Savior in humility and find reconciliation as well. There are those who experienced the sacrament the week before, as well as those who have come to the confessional for the first time in many years. Seeing such strength of character acting itself out before my eyes brings me to tears of joy.
I want to encourage all the men who will attend the 2018 Conference to experience forgiveness from the One who went to the cross for us – the One who longs to draw us back to Himself in that profound moment of personal and communal restoration. I would like to issue a call for us all to get real with Reconciliation as we discover what making a good Confession is all about.
More than Ritual and Routine
Confession is seldom easy; nor is it simply some ceremonial, a spiritual hurdle we must clear before going to Communion. There is uneasiness and even pain in coming to Christ in the person of the priest and confessing our faults and failings, especially if we have long been away. But there is freedom and joy in the assurance that we have been cleansed of our unrighteousness and reconciled to our Savior. Confession is not meant to be a burden but a blessing.
The powerful truth behind Confession is that sin affects not just the individual, but the community as well. Coming before Christ’s representative is the sign that we are reconciling not only with our Lord but with His Church as well. We cannot separate our personal sin from the effect it has on the Body of believers to which we belong. Pope Benedict, responding to
questions from inmates in Rome’s Rebbibia District Prison, put it this way:
I would say two things. The first: naturally, if you kneel down and with true love for God pray that God forgives you, he forgives you. It has always been the teaching of the Church that [when] one, with true repentance … asks for forgiveness, he is pardoned by God. This is the first part. … But there is a second element: sin is not only a “personal,” individual thing between myself and God. Sin always has a social dimension, a horizontal one … and the sacrament is the great gift in which through confession, we can free ourselves from this thing and we can really receive forgiveness in the sense of a full readmission to the community of the living Church, of the Body of Christ.
Making the Confession Experience Our Own
At the Conference, Confession is a deeply personal time where we get real with our faith. The form matters less than the heart of the man speaking the words. As we sit across from our confessor we are celebrating the reconciliation that takes place within our hearts and within our faith community. The familiar Act of Contrition we recite can unite us to the long line of believers who have shared in the sacrament. Likewise, a heartfelt and spontaneous prayer of repentance can connect us to the Spirit who speaks to us from the depths of our souls as we give thanks for our recovery from sin.
In whatever way we choose to make the experience of Confession our own, we, like the tax collector in the synagogue, or the sinful woman who anointed Jesus’ feet, are called to come spiritually naked before our Lord, willing to admit our unworthiness, but willing also to accept the perfect and eternal love that comes from the One who knows our pain. Rather than reciting a litany of sins and making a gesture of repentance, we must lay our whole selves before the Throne of Grace and call out for the mercy of God to overshadow us once more.
Spiritual Counsel, Not Counseling
I once attended a men’s conference where one of the speakers encouraged the men to go to Confession during the event. He made references to soldiers reloading and rushing back into the battle, and to weary men being spiritually recharged. He also pointed out that it was not a time for counseling, but said that we were to “get in and get out” and get back to living our faith. As I listened to him speak, I understood the point he was trying to make, but I felt like something was missing.
Certainly, Confession is not a counseling session. In one sense it does recharge us so that we may come out ready to resume the day-to-day battles in a world opposed to our faith. However, there is also a relational aspect of Reconciliation. We are not simply plugging into a spiritual battery; we are coming to express our weakness before the Lord through His representative so that we may be reunited with the person of Jesus and His Church.
As travelers on a journey toward heaven, we need affirmation of who we are in Christ, assurance of His love and forgiveness, and sound counsel from a wise, listening ear. The priest is there as a flesh and blood representative of the Savior to offer all this to us in Christ’s name. It is in this beautiful relational experience that we receive the grace of forgiveness and reconciliation.
A True Examination of Conscience, Ready to Reconcile
Making a good Confession is really about four things: 1) understanding our temptations and our weaknesses; 2) examining our conscience as we come to terms with the truth of our rebellion against the law of God’s love; 3) finding forgiveness in the One who has the power to forgive sins; and 4) being reconciled and brought back into a right relationship with Christ and His Church. As a child, I remember coming to Confession and reciting the same sins week after week. As I look back on those days, I wonder how much I was willing to examine my sinful nature in a truly honest way.
Sin happens because we allow the devil to get a foothold into our minds. It is something that keeps us from producing fruit in our lives — an open defiance of God’s will. It is turning away from Him and missing the mark. In order to be reconciled, we must allow God to address our sin head on. The heavenly Vinedresser must prune away the dead branches and lift up the fruitful branches towards the sun. Only when we come to terms with our sin can we be free of it and receive forgiveness and reconciliation in Christ.
When we feel our lives are not going well, often we look for someone or something to blame. We try harder to “be good” or to change the people and circumstances around us. But sin is a heart issue, and Reconciliation is a heart issue as well. We may spend considerable amounts of time and energy doing all we can to avoid getting real with our sin, our sorrow, and our need; but in the end, it comes down to our willingness to face the truth of our spiritual condition.
We should come into the sanctuary of our souls with nothing in our hands, ready to face the reality of the patterns of our sin, ready to accept the misunderstandings of how we see ourselves, our world, and our God. We must be open to receive the healing fire of Christ’s love and forgiveness. That can only take place when our Examination of Conscience is real, relational, and ready for Jesus. Only when we face ourselves as we are, surrender to the person of Christ, and prepare for His cleansing, do we make a true Confession in faith.
Coming Out of the Box
As we receive the reconciling love of Christ in the Confessional and rise from our place, we can come with confidence to the Table of the Lord, knowing we approach the Eucharist reconciled and ready to receive. From there, we can be sent out into the world once more as members of the Church who take with us the grace of the sacrament and the strength of our loving Lord to guide us and sustain us on our journey.
Reconciliation is so much more than a trip to a dark little box to share our sins. As you come to this year’s Connecticut Catholic Men’s Conference, take the time to experience a reconnecting to your Lord, your brothers, and your Church. May you find the strength, the surrender, the courage, and the joy that comes when you make your next good Confession. God bless!